My heart was beating so fast that it felt like a cheetah was running inside my chest. As I jumped from the burning building, I could feel the wind rushing through my hair. My feet landed on a smooth, yellow surface. I realised I was moving down the road on top of a bus! I was trying to balance on the edge so I didn’t fall. My sweaty feet were shaking and my hands were clenched into fists. It felt like crabs were crawling and pinching inside my stomach. My cheeks felt as hot as lava and my mouth was frozen open as wide as an orange.
I could not move. The End
WOW Scarlett,this is a pretty cool story.I like the way you have used some great words to describe what you were doing.You've done a great job at making it look like you are about to fall.
ReplyDeleteDid you enjoy writing this story?.
Hi Mrs Cassidy. Thank you for commenting on my post. I did enjoy making the picture and writing the story. I like making up the similes.
ReplyDeleteHello Scarlett,
ReplyDeleteThis is an amazing piece of writing. I love how you have used describing words.I like when you said that you could feel a cheetah running down your chest. How did you think of all these words? Great work keep it up. -Angel
Hi Scarlett, I love your story! My favourite part was when you found that you had landed on the roof of a bus! I thought it was really clever not to give that away straight away! You have worked really well to use show, don't tell. Keep up the great writing!
ReplyDeletehi there scarlett i like the photo you were on top off the bus and that's good i like your pictrue that's good
ReplyDelete